Blog Episode 25: "This is Why You Don't Be Nice"

To Verbally Crucify...

    Aggression... Aggression is the fucking key... Hurt them, emotionally scar them all. Hurt those who opposed you, make them suffer, make them pay... People always wondered why I'm always angry, why I am always bitter, always have a grudge against people. 2019 is the goddamn answer... But it wasn't always this way... Ever since I was a little tot, I always had an optimistic view of the world. Of course, anyone who goes through their tot years would see the world with such glee. Year after year, I was quite the character, as I was always a people pleaser. Looking back at this insight however makes me cringe, but I was quite a character. I used to always model myself after the characters that I've seen on TV and would try to emulate those moments in the real world, and granted, it has rolled many eyes because of this, however, because I was a child, we all have done stupid and cringeworthy things, so all of this is excusable. 

    At the age of nine, that was when your sense of the world begins to slowly become sane. At age nine, I was a child who liked playing on my Nintendo DSi and also discovered masturbation. Yes, at that time, masturbation was a source of happiness as well, and getting caught was the opposite of that happiness but that's a different story. Around the ages of nine and ten years old, it is usually the ages of discovery. I was a growing optimist throughout the years and eventually transcended into adolescence. Throughout the adolescent stages, I was heavily into video games and filmmaking, mostly the latter. I used to film myself doing rants in front of the camera, and also record skits of myself being a dumbass on camera, and all in good fun. I'll admit I look back at these videos with a certain charm, so the cringe factor isn't that high, however the point is, your early teens is when you are at the peak of optimism. 

 

    And then you hit that mid-teen stage and that's when all things go down the shitter... When I first turned 15, I was in a constant state of confusion, and with that, I tried my fucking hardest to still keep a smile on my face, however it did no good. Presumably because of hormones, this was most likely why I was so anxious as shit. However I did try to keep it together, and overall it was a 50/50 balance. You know that wojak meme of the guy wearing the mask of a smiling wojak, but beneath it, he's actually fucking screaming? Yeah, that was fucking me, however my situation was a whole lot tamer than the given example. Overall, from ages 15 to 17, it was pretty manageable. I was still going through many phases during that time, but it wasn't anything drastic. 

    However once you hit that 18 mark, that's when the entire world that you fucking knew becomes oppositeville. Depending on your life, it could go two different ways... If you were a miserable pile of shit growing up, at age 18, you'd begin to enter the age of being humble. If you were an optimistic child growing up, you'd begin to enter the age of being a miserable pile of shit, so really it's a win-lose/lose-win situation, so pick your rat poison. I obviously am the latter, and because of that, it has taught me a very valuable lesson after all those years... DON'T BE FUCKING NICE! I've always bumped my head into the same fucking fence, and did not get a chance to go around it, don't bump your head into the fucking fence. If you are out there, suffering like I once did, not gaining acceptance from people due to your kindness towards them, then follow my advice... Being nice doesn't get your anywhere. 

    That's all I've been was a fucking people pleaser, a dick sucker, an ass kisser, and all these years I would smile and try to please the next person, and looking back many years later, I did not realize how much of a fucking shit-eating moron that I was, I almost want to leap back in time and punch that stupid smile off my fucking face. 2019 was the "big change", and it is an era of the "big change", as I've unlocked the philosophy of eliminating nice-ness from the equation altogether. The best way to describe 2019 is to quote the Angry Video Game Nerd's review of Street Fighter 2010,

Then, you start to go through a phase, where you get so frustrated that all the skill you've accumulated starts to weaken.

    2019 was the year that I went through a tremendous phase. I don't know how to describe it, I don't know what it was, but it was like my dull senses were awakened to the world's bullshit that they had to offer me, and I saw the answer. My eyes were opened to the answer that I was seeking. I was like that one scene in Spiderman 3, when Peter Parker became black suited Spiderman, it was all sinisterly beautiful to him, and after going through this transformation as well, it was all fucking beautiful to me too... 

@ 1:14 - Now that's what I'm talking about!

    All the months and years, I have never had any friends, all the years, people were nothing but rude to me, all the fucking years, people have singled me out, all the years, people have treated me like a fucking second-class citizen, it has awakened my misanthropic antics once more, with this one simple motto...

Don't. Be. Nice...

    I was frustrated that my social skills that I have been trying to accumulate were getting weaker and weaker, and so I began to ask for an answer, and I woke up... I was finally enlightened. When I looked back at all of cringy things that I did, all the stupid happy things that I did for people, kissing their feet, and licking their ass, I realize that I was nothing but a slave to them. And then I finally woke up and realized not to be a slave to another one's emotions. Because of this I'd began to dress differently. Gone were the phase of "dress to impress", and instead replace it with "pedal to the metal". I was finally a different person. 2019 was the year that the happy Roger Hill has officially died, I no longer view the world as optimistic as I used to be. I now have a pessimistic view of the world now, and you should as well. I don't take orders from chicken-dicks, and now take orders from my self and let the world ride on my aggressive wave-emitting shoulders. 

 

    Where I used to be the smiling, punchable human to ever breathe upon the world, is now the angry, cynical, pessimist that is now the Roger Hill that was meant to and should've been, and that is my ironic happiness. Happiness masked by cynicism. I refuse to ram into that same fence again, and have finally learned my lesson, and I hope you would learn this lesson as well. The bottom line of all of this is that if you don't want to be a pussy-pushover, don't be FUCKING nice and learn how to throw a couple of punches now and then, as I have learned how myself. The world has fucked me over too many fucking times and I will not tolerate its, "fucking", that the world has to offer, as I've went way beyond that line, I'm way better than that... 

This is who I am. This is who I should've been. This is Beefster Report, the latest and daily dose of internet stupidity.