As I sat at my seat, mourning over the loss of Iwata and how much greater this entire generation of Nintendo could've been, I was browsing on eBay for some DS game lot listings, just so I could play all the games that I missed out as a child. I didn't care if it was piracy if I got the r4 cards. Because Nintendo's neglect for putting these beloved cherished games on the system was too much for me, I've decided to bite the bullet. As I was browsing through countless listing on the site, I've then heard audio playing in another tab on my incognito browser as it was the tab opened to Nintendo's website, waiting for the E3 event to premiere. I went back to the tab and there it was, the official direct had officially started.
As the direct began, the started out with Furukawa and some other executive I don't care to know his name of, announced that the direct was going to begin... He had a couple things to say and then the direct started. The very first thing I was presented with was a trailer for presumably Super Smash Bros, thanks to the "not actual gameplay footage" disclaimer being displayed at the bottom of the screen, as we see a presumably dead Ganondorf being carried by somebody, being thrown over the edge of a cliff, and then we are met with a character that I immediately recognized... It was Kazuya from Tekken 5, and I thought to myself, if this is going to be the only character that's being announced for Smash, then I already knew from the beginning that the direct was going to be disappointing.
Throughout the rest of the trailer, we see montages of him kicking opponents asses as it cuts to animated segments of him tossing his opponents over the cliff, and then we cut to Masahiro Sakurai showing his movesets of the new character announced. I'll admit, I've had a semi-lukewarm reception towards the direct so far, so how worse could it get? Well immediately after that announcement, the direct immediately went downhill from there.
We are then presented with the majority of announcements of games that we don't care about, most of them being JRPG's and collection ports of games that we don't give a shit about, like Monkey Ball? Seriously? Who the fuck plays Monkey Ball nowadays? We also have Advance Wars finally being brought over to the switch, which is a niche game not too many normies know about, and granted, as much as I'm interested in the franchise, I feel like that decision was a little too late to the party. The remaster of the game looks too amateurish if I say so myself. I don't know what is it with remasters of beloved classic games being downgraded with this mobile game looking garbage, and that's what the visuals look like. It looked like something you see on a microtransaction-infested mobile game with subpar graphics that looks like it was animated in Adobe Flash.
Throughout the entire direct, I saw the pattern. It's mediocre games being thrown in left and right, and a few big major announcements being thrown in between. After that endless masquerade of shovel-ware announcements, we are then presented with Metroid Dread, and to be honest, when I made that rant post earlier today asking where's Metroid Prime 4 as it seems like Nintendo had forgotten about that whole game just to build up hype for an overpriced, overhyped system with subpar and mediocre features, it seemed like Furukawa answered my question. He LITERALLY straight up said that the game is still in development, and because of that, you mean to fucking tell me that it has been 4 fucking years, and we still haven't at least seen gameplay or screenshots of the game being made at hand? Well instead, he announced a subgame to the franchise that is going to accompany Metroid Prime 4 which is Metroid 5 (AKA Metroid Dread), and honestly, it was perhaps the only thing I kind of enjoyed about this entire direct.
For 20 fucking years, we have been deprived of a Metroid game and for the first time we are finally getting another 2D Metroid game. The Metroid 2 remake doesn't count, this is an actual new, and true Metroid game being put in the works, and to be honest, it's more exciting than that fucking hoax known as Metroid Prime 4. I still have a feeling that the title of that game was just announced to boost sales for the console, only to have ravaging fans to wait for a game that would never come, but okay... I'll take it... I guess...
As the direct went on, we get more games that we don't care about, such as this Mario/Rabbids crossover game, which is their attempt at the tactical game genre, and honestly, if I wanted to play a good tactical game, I'd play XCOM, not this overpriced garbage... And if you're making a tactical game and want it to be taken seriously, why pick Mario of all characters? We have Starlink, which is seemingly a Star Fox crossover with some other franchise, wouldn't you want to choose an IP that would better suit that said genre? Why not Zelda or Metroid? I don't know why, but it seems like Mario just seems out of place to be in that kind of genre. Well, anyways, other games announced were this one visual novel game, a new Monster Hunter game which is a franchise that I kind of respect but not my cup of tea, several racing games, and some fucking University builder game. Okay, so what are the actual good games that's being announced in between all these other shitty announcements.
Well, let me get the pink elephant in the room out of the fucking way and talk about this Mario Party Collection game. I was like, what the fuck is this shit? Did we ask for this? Did we ask for another Mario Party 100 game on the fucking Switch? Play classic popular boards on the go? If I wanted to play those classic Mario Party games, I'd play the original fucking games, not these lazily rehashed ports of them over to the Switch! The laziness man... It shows Nintendo's lack of new content as they're just pumping out either remakes, ports, and classic garbage!
We got a Shin Megami Tensei V game which honestly, the concept looks interesting and the gameplay and graphics looks amazing, but I can't help but think that it's just UNDERTALE under a different name... Granted it adds a new twist, like having them fight along side you, but the gameplay mechanic is literally Undertale under a AAA game name. Even the story is similar, where you go to this alternate dimension of Tokyo and meet monsters and you either slay them or get them to join your side, sounds familiar?
We got a Mario Golf game that I don't really give a shit about. Like literally, the blank expression on my face during this entire time says miles about my impression about this presentation... It's a new Mario golf game I guess... Go figure... Then we finally come to the conclusion of the entire direct and I'm like, "Wait, it's already over? Are you fucking kidding me? Well, if this is their final announcement, it better be fucking good!". After Furukawa said his spiel leading into the next and final announcement, I was asking myself, "Is this the moment everyone has been waiting for? Is this the direct that everyone has been waiting for? Is this so called powerful Nintendo System going to be announced in this direct?". As I held my breath anticipating for the upcoming announcement at hand, I was then presented with the announcement of Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Warriors Expansion Pass...
My initial reaction was, and would be every other person's reaction seeing this disappointing announcement...
As was expected, I was fucking infuriated internally, but at the same time, I already saw it coming a mile away... This was Nintendo, and I didn't even expect a new system to be announced in the works, however the other side of me pitied anyone who had high expectation for the direct to be a "direct" showcase of a new system being in the works... They're dead fucking wrong, and I can't wait to see all the people who are about the cry in my news feed, all those YouTubers who I follow are going to make ad-revenue worthy videos covering the same topic that has been repeated over and over again. Nintendo disappoints their fans... This is why Nintendo is not your friend... They're a money driven corporation, that don't have the passion anymore to please the fucking fans, instead they're more interested in releasing remakes, ports, and shitty spinoff games outsourced to third party developers to make more profit for their personal gain. Yeah, because fuck the fans right?
As I was watching the trailer for the expansion pass, I felt angry, betrayed, empty, and just flat out didn't take the entire direct seriously. I was literally laughing about the fact that these people, as I write this, are gonna get on their camera and start making rant videos AGAIN, about how much of a failure Nintendo is and how this whole fucking Nintendo Switch system is a fucking flop. The Wii U gets more hate than it actually deserves. As I was watching the fucking trailer, seeing the ridiculous gameplay unfold, I'm not fucking kidding, I literally bursted out laughing when I saw Princess Zelda on her stupid motorcycle of hers just plowing through enemies left and right, just overall not taking the sheer ridiculousness that's being unfolded at hand, seriously here. So after that announcement, I was left, expecting absolutely nothing.
Shortly after, we are then greeted by Eiji Aonuma, who finally acknowledges Zelda's 30th anniversary, and as much as I wanted to respect his decision to celebrate the franchise like this, at this point I just didn't care anymore... This entire direct was flat out disappointing, but I already knew it was going to be disappointing, because this is Nintendo, who are prone to making bullshit moves like this. We are then treated to the Game and Watch edition of Zelda which is nice for any collector who wants to get their hands on it, but do you think we really give a fuck about that? Does anyone really give a fuck about G&W? Yeah, it's a nice piece of history, but what the fuck is this? This is the best thing you can come up with? Why not an, oh I don't know, ANNIVERSARY COLLECTION OF THE PREVIOUS GAMES? Granted it would be seen as a cheap port job, but at least it's fucking something! But no, we got a fucking G&W instead.
The G&W being presented here has four games in fucking total. Two of which are games YOU CAN ALREADY PLAY ON THE FUCKING NINTENDO SWITCH NES ONLINE APP! One of them being the original Links Awakening, which is nice, but why put it on the fucking G&W of all things, we already have the HD Remaster! Why not play that? Why not put it on the eSho-, oh yeah that's FUCKING RIGHT, WE DON'T HAVE A FUCKING VIRTUAL FUCKING CONSOLE! I don't even believe the HD version even gives you the option to play the original, so why put it on there in the first place? Whatever... And the last game is this classic G&W game, just with a Zelda skin over it... I don't care...
And last but not least was the Zelda Breath of the Wild 2 game that has finally been dropped on us, and this has been the "supposed" moment everyone has been waiting for... Could this be the game that could save the entire direct? Could this be the game everyone has been waiting for? Well first of all, immediately off the bat as I saw the trailer, I already knew that deep down inside there would be no graphical improvements, new gameplay mechanics, and there will be the same assets used from the previous game... And I was fucking right... I saw the trailer and the gameplay is exactly the same as the last game. Coming from a person who's not even a fan of the Zelda series and don't even plan on buying any future Zelda games anytime soon (Well, maybe Skyward Sword), I was sitting there emotionless, and almost borderline crying, realizing that this is what Nintendo has become.
You wanna know what's even more sadder? As I'm writing this, I've come to the realization that Nintendo has came to a point where it was more important to show a fucking trailer for a sequel to a critically appraised game, however earlier in the direct, Nintendo themselves can't take one fucking minute to show at least a FUCKING TEASER TRAILER FOR METROID PRIME 4! Forget gameplay footage, that's way out of bounds at this point, at least drop a fucking teaser trailer for Metroid Prime 4! But no, instead, they're resilient to show the trailer to this game instead. A game with no new mechanics, no new features, no improvements of the graphics with the same shitty cel-shaded graphics without giving the game an actual realistic feel to them just like Horizon Zero Dawn, and the same fucking enemies over and over again. You might as well consider this a full-priced DLC at this point. I was half-hopingly expecting maybe an upgrade in the graphics like HZD, but that was just wishful thinking at this point.
At the end of the presentation, I as usual, was disappointed, but I was unsurprised as well... As I hung on to just MAYBE a small glimmer of hope, like maybe a five-second teaser of the new trailer of the new Switch console, I'd just let that all go before that mindset even came into fruition. It was just another shitty fucking direct plagued with games nobody cares about. Oh neat, we got WarioWare on the Switch, how fucking nice. Maybe releasing it around the beginning of the console's launch would've been a neat idea, but no apparently releasing the game just now is a great idea... Fucking Christ... The end of the entire direct then cuts to Doug Bowser and some Zelda fanboy at the Treehouse event talking about how they liked the direct and how firm it's erect cock was. You can see the false enthusiasm in Doug's face as he asks you an indirect question in the video if that was a great direct.
No... No it fucking wasn't, it was just as disappointing as the fucking rest of the previous subpar directs that followed. You know it was fucking bad when I even went on my YouTube app and one of the channels that I follow put out a poll in his YouTube Community post asking his followers which company had the best presentation... Nintendo was not even in the poll. Ha, ha, fucking, ha... And for good reason, because Nintendo had buttfucked us for too long, and I can't wait, I honestly can't wait to see the fucking videos pouring in from Nintendo fans crying about how there's no Switch Pro, I can already see it right fucking now as I write this. I can already see Rich from ReviewTechUSA making a video about it right now, because this direct was fucking disappointing.
Nintendo... What happened to you... You used to be a great company. You were the company that literally inspired me to make games. Even thought I'm still currently lacking in the programming department, I still aspire to make games, and I'm constantly riddled with new ideas for new games that I possibly wanted to make, and just like Nintendo themselves, I wanted to make them FUN, which was a philosophy that Nintendo used to live and die by, but now that philosophy has now faded away and instead, they focus on being monopolar with their IP's instead of actually caring about the fucking fans. It's because of Nintendo, that's the reason why you have so many indie developers making great games, echoing a time that Nintendo used to be great, but the downside is, Nintendo is just directly the opposite, and the fans are finishing a cake that Nintendo themselves started but couldn't finish... When indie games like Undertale can have more heart and emotional soul put into them, building a tycoon of a fanbase, and your games don't, then there's something seriously wrong here...
Despite saying that I wasn't going to support Nintendo in my last rant, that doesn't mean that I won't play anymore of their games, I'm still going to play their games, but I'll actually play GOOD games that Nintendo used to make and will just flat out refuse buying anymore Nintendo Switch games... I'll still play them on my Nintendo Switch, but any game that comes out, I'm boycotting them. I'd rather stick with my Nintendo DS, my Nintendo Wii, the GameCube and the Gameboy Advance, because those were systems that actually had libraries of games made by passionate developers, and Satoru Iwata was one of them. As much as I, a few months back, strongly disagreed with the Knowledge Hub, which is a YouTuber who does factual videos, analyzing and making commentaries on modern society and the current status quo, the Nintendo video that he uploaded, made me outraged back, because I thought he was just one of those Nintendo haters, but looking back on it, I realized that he was actually right.
Nintendo's end is seemingly near, and they did this to themselves... Rest in peace, Nintendo... Your ounce of respect from me has been shattered for good...
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