Holy shit!
I said to myself. It was another LEGO set, perhaps the closest thing that I'll ever get to having that MTT set. I unwrapped another and it was ANOTHER clone trooper battle pack! Then I unwrapped the last two sets and it was the Naboo Starfighter and the Y-Wing Fighter set! Even though I didn't get the MTT set, this was more than enough for me to get my foot into the door of investing into this wonderful toy! I remember just spending all day, building the Naboo Starfighter, and when I was done with building everything, I reenacted what I saw in the commercial of that MTT set, and deployed the missile of the Naboo Starfighter onto the surface of the table, as it knocked over all the minifigures that I've stood up on the table! From then on, I was hooked onto LEGO and it would spark a memorable, three years of my childhood.
Throughout my journey into the world of (supposed) LEGO collecting, I would binge-watch LEGO Star Wars stop motion videos back in the good old year of 2009, as I would sneak onto my parent's Windows XP laptop and tried to watch as many stop motion videos as I can, before getting caught by my parents, as I was prohibited from browsing internet sites on my computer, and also having time limits as well. One series of videos that I fuckin' loved watching and would binge watch every single day, and to this day, it brings back memories, as viewing it now is like viewing my childhood, being replayed through the lens of a very admirable youtuber; was a guy by the name of pizzamovies. Sadly he doesn't upload anymore as he stopped uploading back in 2013, but holy shit, this was the fucking channel I would binge watch as a kid. His videos consisted of stop motion animated clones going to war against battle droids, as each video told a story, with some videos showcasing the clones losing some battles, and then other times, the tide turns as reinforcements would arrive obliterating the battle droids all out together, in epic and bombastic fashion, as hundreds of LEGO pieces are being blown to bits, all over the place, all the while being overlayed with crudely drawn laser effects, effectively doing its job by complimenting the story, as the video in it of itself was the most immersive, blood-pumping, action filled video that I've ever witnessed as a child...
As I was viewing these videos, I would began to get filled with so much passion for LEGO Star Wars, as I remember, with my minifigs readily available on my desk in front of me, binge-watch and rewatch these videos over and over again, while simultaneously playing with my minifigs on my desk. It was as if I was in this kid's house, as I was playing along with him, that's how immersive these sets of videos were. I would spend almost hours watching these videos, and whenever I would hit a dead end, and there are no more videos to be played, I would just sift through his older videos at random and just rewatch them over and over again, as I would take my sets apart, and set up a battlefield, as I would reenact the full out war on my desk, right in front of me. These videos were the most epic sets of videos that I have ever watched as a kid, and seeing the fact that this guy had a fucking clone army and a droid army, all topped with vehicles, including the LEGO MTT, as hundreds of battle droids were being dumped, one by one on the table, all the while being obliterated by crudely drawn laser effects, it made me pester my parents even more, why they didn't get me those sets, as my dream was to have a huge LEGO army at my disposal, as I wanted to recreate my favorite scenes from various stop motion videos and Star Wars movies right at the tips of my fingers.
The videos may be terribly dated by today's standards, but seeing this as a kid who was deprived of a LEGO army, AND LEGO sets in general, was a wet fucking dream in it of itself. And it wasn't just pizzamovies who made videos like these, there were other fucking youtubers, who also had armies of clones and battle droids going to war with each other, as these youtubers had all of them in the fuckin' hundreds. There was one fucking video that I wish I could revisit, but because this is 2022, and 2008 was a long fucking time ago, it will probably be hard to find. Anyways, there was a video of a guy who had a massive clone and droid army, set on these baseplates, spread throughout the table as he would just record himself on camera, creating an all out sequence of battles, narrating and voicing the minifigures, as the clones and battle droids blasted at each other, knocking majority of them over on the table, with the track "Anakin vs Obi-Wan" from Revenge of the Sith playing in the back. This video wasn't stop motion as it was all in real time, but even so, the video was very immersive and it really got me very excited as I would constantly replay that same video, over and over again. It was videos like these, that really sparked my imagination and interest for LEGO, as all of these videos were a recipe for envy, as I've envied every single youtuber who had all these great sets and armies back then, with 8 year old me, watching these videos with hopeful optimism that my parents will one day buy all of these sets for me as I will be able to reenact all of my favorite battles just like my favorite youtubers on the laptop screen.
Overtime however, as many months went by, my thirst for Star Wars sets and Star Wars in general would begin to die down, as I would begin to forget about the MTT set or any LEGO Star Wars set for that matter, as I mostly just focused on LEGO in it of itself, as I would just lust over all the sets that I would see on LEGO's website, and man, how fucking jealous I was. Throughout the months, getting a LEGO set was rare, as my parents rarely bought me any of them. The only time I've ever received one, was either through my Birthday or Christmas. Very rarely would I get a LEGO set on a random day of the year, so I had to either (and most likely) take apart my older sets that I've put together and just rebuild them again, or just dismantle them permanently and use my imagination, as my blistered hands scrapped itself through the sea of LEGO pieces, looking for that one fucking piece for something that I've been building at time. Other than that it was me mostly looking at YouTube videos of content creators showing off their LEGO sets, looking at crazy stop motions of other themes that I've wished I had, watching gameplay footage of LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga, as that game was a thing during my time, or just browsing LEGO's website religiously under the products page, and playing their flash games.
I will say however, interestingly one of the LEGO videos that I've watched on YouTube was the first video that I've ever watched in my life that used the word "fuck" throughout the whole video. The video wasn't stop motion, instead it was two dickfaces playing with minifigures on live camera, as they exchanged obscenities with one another, each of them yelling it at each other too as well. It was a three part series, and throughout those three parts that I've watched, it would be the very first time that I learned what the word "fuck" really was. So you had 8 year old me, sitting in my room watching these sets of videos by this one youtuber, at FULL volume mind you, as throughout the entire video, all I'm hearing is things like, "WHAT THE FUCK", and "MOTHERFUCKER". I can imagine the face my dad was making in the other room as he was hearing all of this. I remember coming out of my room and walking up to my dad, asking him what the word "fuck" even meant, and you can already piece the rest of how that conversation actually went.
However getting back on track, throughout the years, in terms of me getting into LEGO, getting a set was very rare, and I amassed at least one-two sets in a year, most of them coming from different themes instead of just Star Wars. Themes such as Space Police, Indiana Jones, and Bionicle. In fact the biggest set that I've ever gotten at the time was the Crystal Skull Temple from LEGO Indiana Jones for Christmas, and my balls just blew the fuck off my dick when I saw that, under my Christmas tree. It came with a very rare baseplate (which I stupidly broke by the way, and it could've been worth lots of money by now), molded specifically for that set and I remember playing with the set trying to emulate what was done in the commercial and apparently getting frustrated with the faulty mechanics that it had to offer. Like when you press down on the top part of the temple to make those three wings fold up, parts of the set would break off and I remember screaming in frustration over that.
Other than that, not else is remembered about my experience with LEGO. My immense investment into the franchise was a like going in for the kill, only to leave empty handed. I did have a LEGO Club magazine subscription (which died by the way) which came in my mailbox, every few months, but it was just another salt in the wound for me, as it was just a catalog of all their latest lineups, showing off their new LEGO sets that they had to offer, which further taunted me, as it made me want to desperately beg my parents to get me these sets even more. Other parts of the magazine consisted of a comic book section, which entailed various portrayals of the current themes that were around during that time, and the creation section, which showcased pictures of kids showing off their custom LEGO creations, and them getting the spotlight for it by LEGO officials. Other than that, that's pretty much where my interest for this company ends. It was like a cake that you've always wanted, sitting right there in front of you, but you couldn't have any of it, as your hands and feet are bounded to the chair, you watching it being slowly eaten away by that very same person who had tied you up to the chair, taunting you.
I didn't get that many LEGO sets, and seeing all the sets that I've always wanted in commercial form, and not getting any of them, it's what really discouraged me from sticking to LEGO any further, as isn't that the point is to buy the sets to support the company that you like? I was even so fucking desperate at one point, that I'd even called up the LEGO hotline, and wanted to try and chat with them, hoping they would give me a LEGO set, just so I could have the luxury of being in the presence of LEGO's headquarters, that's how desperate I was with them as a company. I've even participated in a survey, run by a company named Nielsen, as they've announced that you would win a LEGO set. As you can obviously tell, I've participated in that survey, hoping that by a sheer miracle that I would be one of the lucky ones to win a very giant LEGO set, however obviously, that did not come to pass.
In 2011, it would be the last year that I've remember still being invested in LEGO, as during that time, Clone Wars was out and I was still hungry for more sets, as I've wanted to continue building a clone army. I remember going over to a friend's house, who happened to have a huge collection of fucking LEGO sets, I kid you not, my fucking LEGO boner nearly tore through my fucking pants after seeing the display of minifigures and half-broken LEGO sets strewn all about the floor, as if my friend was deeply spoiled by the vast collection of bricks, and not cherishing the fact that they were fortunate to own such great things. One of the things that I've always wanted was a LEGO Slave I (yes it's called "Slave I", not Boba Fett's Starfighter for you normie woke people out there) that was put out at the time. Seeing the fucking set in person and the features that the set had, blew me the fuck away. I remember it being $65 at the time, and I specifically remember begging my mom to buy the set for me, even to the point where my friend begged her for me as well, and she said that she'll buy me one the week after.
I remember being so fucking excited as Boba Fett is one of my favorite characters, and the idea of having a large LEGO set for the first time in awhile at that point was unfathomable! So one week had passed, and I remembered specifically asking my mom in the car if she still planned to buying me that set, and she responded with... "No"... I was taken aback by what she had just said, and then it hit me... This was one of the many times that she had lied and broke a promise with me as she had a history of doing that, and hearing that was what really hurt me that day, and I'd remember going to my room, crying because I have been lied to, that I wasn't going to get another great LEGO set that would've been in my collection, as I was still taunted by the fortunate kids who've owned more sets than me, as I was just an outcast to the community continuously for more fucking years to come.
The most my parents ever did to me during that year was when they took me to Legoland, (it wasn't even Legoland, just a smaller version of it tucked away in a mall), as I've went on a ride with my family, and watched a LEGO movie together, as it was advertised with the gimmick of it being in "4D", as every time special effects were displayed on screen, the sprinklers and fans would begin to go off in the screening room, emulating the weather that was portrayed in the movie, as it brought itself to the audience. Admittedly, it was a very fun experience and I've always anticipated for the sprinklers to go off again at every given point in the film that called for it. At the end of screening, we were then handed like these Legoland Duplo sized bricks, promoting Legoland and then, that's that, I guess. And then here is the meat of the whole thing... The most memorable part of this whole ordeal, the shooting star of my life... The LEGO shop at the very end of this whole fiasco, and for once, I was finally treated to a LEGO set.
My parents told me to choose whatever LEGO set that I've wanted, and at this point I thought I was fucking dreaming. For the first time and sadly the last, I was offered a chance to finally have another LEGO set in my possession. I remembered being so fucking excited, and I'd remembered frantically pacing around the store, selecting what set to have in my arsenal, and then it hit me. I'd then chose a LEGO set that had a Jedi minifigure in it, as I've always wanted a Jedi minifigure, as all the other Star Wars figures all carried blasters. And so, the last set my parents ever bought for me was Plo Koon's Starfighter, as I've chosen that set, because, like I said, I've always wanted a Jedi minifigure, as I've seen too many videos on YouTube of Jedi minifigures doing cool stunts and tricks on camera, so I've always wanted a Jedi minifigure of my own to do those exact same things as well. And so, after my mom bought me that set, she treated me to a movie theater that was inside the mall, it was Pirates of the Caribbean, and throughout the entire experience, I was fucking bored out of my mind, as my mind was fixated on the LEGO set that was in the trunk of our car at this point. When the movie was finally over, my mom took me a ride home and I ran to my room in childlike excitement as usual. And so, as I was unboxing the set, there it was, my eyes being presented to my very first Jedi minifigure, and also the first time having a lightsaber blade piece in my possession. For years, I used to find substitutes for pieces to emulate the lightsaber, granted I obviously didn't have any translucent blade piece to go within the lightsaber hilt, but nevertheless, at the time I was just using my imagination as usual, as all I could make was just a plain, solid-white, lightsaber blade. It was an experience that would go on to be the very last time my parents would ever treat me to such a treasure.
After 2011, that's when my interest for LEGO had completely died, as all the videos of these fortunate children that had an entire army of LEGO sets at hand was all just an unreachable fantasy that would never be achieved. I was in a way, subconsciously angry at my parents for continuously not buying me LEGO sets more often, and just letting all the old sets collect dust, only to then have them get taken apart due to boredom. I didn't even have enough minifigures at the time, as most of them were either taken apart or lost in the sea of LEGO pieces to come. The very last thing that I've ever did LEGO related was browsing the LEGO message boards, as its message boards were one of the strictest, most moderated sites that I've ever spent my time on. If you remember way back when I wrote a post about U.B. Funkeys, and how on their message boards, you had to be approved by a moderator to get your post shown on the forum. Yeah, take that, and replace it with trigger happy assholes, who wouldn't hesitate to reject your posts to kingdom fuckin' come. I kid you not, I wrote even the most innocuous of posts, and they still rejected me, yet all the other fucking members get to spam smiley faces and type in all caps and that's okay? How fucking fair is that!? Well anyways, surfing on the LEGO message boards was a huge no-no for me and the idea of having my posts rejected over something petty was the primary reason why I've avoided reading the message boards altogether. It was after that experience, my taste for this toy company would naturally begin to sour, as months went by, and my brain would completely retcon the thought of LEGO as a whole. Throughout the coming years, I would forget that LEGO even existed, as my interest for that toy had died completely, as I've moved onto other things such as video games, running a forum, and creating this blog.
According to the LEGO community, this would go on to become the dark ages of my life, a term used among message boards referring to those who'd lost interest in LEGO altogether, before eventually getting right back into it again, and that scenario was exactly what happened in my life... Then came the year of 2014, a conflicting year for me as it was the same year that was the start of my fucking OCD, and anxiety. As the years burned on, as soon as I thought the word LEGO had escaped my mind, I remember hearing about a trailer that had just dropped for a movie that sparked an interest for a toy that I haven't heard in a while. It was The LEGO Movie, and holy shit, seeing the trailer for this fucking movie had me so fucking excited again, as the child inside of me was beginning to show itself throughout viewing the trailer. I wanted to see the movie, and so when the day came when the film hit theaters, I walked to my local Cinemark and dropped some cash for a movie ticket and price gouged myself with their expensive popcorn, as I walked to the screening room, and selected a seat among the darkness in front of me, the light emitting off the vast majority of trailers being shown on screen, as it guided me to my destination, as I've sat down in my seat of choice to view the movie at last.
After the barragement of trailers rolled by, one by one, the movie finally fuckin' started. Your typical movie logos and intros were presented at the beginning of the film draws you in through the colorful world that it presented itself, as each scene was portrayed beautiful, brick by brick. The premise of the movie is pretty simple. There is a prophecy by Morgan Freeman that a very talented master builder will defeat the evil businessman who is a segregationist, and wants to segregated all the themes throughout the movie. The movie had like this Matrix plot, and you have the cliché, "I'm not accepted by society, but deep down inside I am actually the chosen one", trope, and you have mooks that's after the main character, and you have the main character, this early 2000s evanescence chick, Batman, Morgan Freeman, and a Unicorn... Yeah, that's just about right. The main character sucks at building, but then he later unlocks his inner potential and turns out he is the chosen masterbat- I mean master builder, as the main characters look for the McGuffin before the Agent Smith clone gets it. Then it cuts to a live action scene where this son and dad talks about how segregation is bad, and then the evil Electronic Arts CEO learns that friendship is indeed magic, the end.
As I was watching the movie, I was hit with so much nostalgia once again, as the mass array of bricks presented itself on the big screen through this special ability called "master building", where the main character is like Neo from the fucking Matrix and can build anything that comes to mind instantaneously, creating one of the most breathe-taking builds to ever be presented on the big screen. The movie at the end of the day was your typical cliché kids movie, but nevertheless, it was core popcorn to the eyes, and little did I know, this very movie would subconsciously spark my interest into LEGO once again.
I remember walking out of the theater and something just hit me, a nostalgic feeling that I haven't felt in a long time. It was at that moment I wanted to feel like a fuckin' child once again... I walked to my parent's car and I was in the mood for doing some window shopping at my local grocery store, and so I've decided to pull the trigger... I had convinced my parents to drive me to my local Walmart, and so they eventually obliged. Hopefully without looking like a manchild, I walked all the way down to the toy section and looked at all the LEGO sets. Instantly, I'd began to experience all the things that I've experienced as a little kid, however this time, I had the buying power to finally grab one set off of the shelf... I was heavily into Batman at the time as I really admired its rogues gallery, and so the first set I ever got was this bat helicopter set that came with Man-Bat. I was so excited, holding the LEGO set in my hand in the car, as for the first time I got to decide what LEGO set I wanted to buy, and when I came home I rushed to my room and opened the box as quick as possible. In it, I was immediately hit with a whiff of nostalgia, as that chemical odor that came from the box hit my nose so vigorously, as my eyes were painted with the glossed finish of the LEGO pieces incased in their numbered bags. I couldn't breathe...
Around 20 minutes, within that amount of time, I had finally completed the LEGO set, as right in front of me, was my entire childhood told to me within hundreds of little plastic pieces once again. Those 20 minutes would go on to start the fire for many months to come, as I would grow to love LEGO again, as I would chalk up allowance money to buy the sets of my dreams. Throughout 2015, I would continuously buy more LEGO sets, as my money aimed for the $70 to $100 range of sets, sometimes even over $100, just so I could get my hands on some 1,000 piece sets and doing so, I have finally succeeded in building up a pretty decent collection for myself. My very first 1,000 piece set was the 2014 Imperial Star Destroyer. I remember just saving up $150 for that set, and loaning my parents the money to buy that set for me off of Amazon. I remember being so fucking excited, my first 1,000 piece set is finally in my possession. As I waited for an agonizing 5 days, the UPS truck had arrived at the house, and I remembered the delivery guy, as he handed me the package, wished me the best of luck with my experience. I rushed to the kitchen table after that, and immediately started building.
As I've opened the box, inside I was met with numerous numbered bags of all the pieces that came with the set, all of them being in their high quality, and glossy glory. As I've unwrapped the first bag, I was met with two stormtroopers, and a Darth Vader figure. The idea of me getting a Darth Vader minifigure was so fucking amazing as it was one of those LEGO minifigures that I've always wanted. I remember it taking me around 5 hours to build the entire set, as I sat at the table in the quiet, empty kitchen, rattling around the pieces in the numbered bags, as one by one, each piece clicked together like an unfinished puzzle that is to finally be finished. Around 10 o'clock in the evening, the set was finally completed and I brought it to my room, displaying it on my table, like it was a trophy, as I laid in bed, burying myself under the covers in satisfaction as my fixated eyes on the set eventually faded into a daze of dreams to come.
Which is a behemoth of a fucking set by the way, and would make any kid shit their pants if they were to get this fucking UCS level of a set with so much attention to detail, to a fucking watered down, set like this:
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MCDONALDS KIDS MEAL, BABY, KINTERGARDEN FUCKING SHIT!? This set literally took a 180 in terms of progressing, as you would think each set would get better and better right? But no, each set gets fucking worse, becoming fucking smaller and smaller, and many of these fucking dickheads are defending this shit! Like people are not talking about this phenomenon, they are just sweeping this shit under the rug, as they'll just simply label you as "nostalgia blind". No, it's not being fucking nostalgia blind, it's called "facts". Another example is the thematic picture for this blog post, the 2012, 9493 X-Wing Starfighter:
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Verses the LEGO 75218, X-Wing Fighter:
Even their minifigures aren't as exciting anymore. Remember when you opened up a LEGO set back in the early 2000s and you were met with minifigures like this:
There's something about that minifigure that just screams simplicity. Like it screamed childlike simplicity, yet something about its design just screamed LEGO. However, the minifigures that are made nowadays are so overly detailed, to the point where it doesn't feel like LEGO anymore. Comparing that figure that I've shown earlier to a figure like this:
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